NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS: What’s on their minds this year?
Many people have been busy making resolutions that they know full well they won’t keep up with. Ever wondered what fictional characters might be thinking?
JAMES T. KIRK (Star Trek‘s Captain Kirk)
Try to speak. In. Full Sentences. In The. Prequel.
RORSCHACH (Watchmen‘s creepy badass)
Have a bath. Possibly. Get the trenchcoat back from the drycleaners. Cut eyeholes in that damn mask.
OPTIMUS PRIME (Transformers)
Survive the sequel. Track down Michael Bay regarding the damn flames they gave me. You’d think geeks had better things to argue about. Teach Ironhide some manners.
THE DOCTOR (Doctor Who)
Cancel the milk. Redecorate the TARDIS console room. Convince the diehards that my 11th persona will be great. Point out series 4 was fantastic as proof of diehards being wrong. Get a scarf.
MARCUS FENIX (Gears of War)
Practice forcing my chin into even more manly poses. Find bigger guns. Prepare for the inevitable Geas of War 3. Book a holiday.
BATMAN
Get some throat lozenges. Pray for a shorter running time on my next film. Make sure Joel Schumacher comes nowhere near me.
CHUCKY
Figure out what the deal is with that remake they’re doing of me. Threaten the filmmakers by saying they’ll have to adopt Glen/Glenda. Get a facial. These stitches do nothing for my image.
TONY STARK (Iron Man)
Ask my girl’s parents why the hell they named her Pepper Potts.
What about your resolutions?